Breaking the News

It is probably a good idea to have a family meeting to discuss the move. If your family never has family meetings, a family meal either at home or in a local restaurant is another good way to break the news. Don’t expect everyone to be pleased about the move. You will need to provide them with as much information as possible and focus on the benefits and advantages of the move. Tell them if you are moving because of a job promotion or for a new job. Break it to them gently and kindly. Tailor your explanations to the age of the children. Generally speaking the older the child the more difficult they will find the move and have more trouble coping with the move. Young children may just need reassurance that they will be moving with Mommy and Daddy. Older children will be concerned about leaving their old school and friends and having to adjust to a new school and make new friends. Teens will be the most upset by the move as they will have developed very strong relationships with their friends.

The youngest children only need to know that you are moving to a new town because your office will be in the new town. You may be moving to be closer to relatives and your youngest children will be very pleased if you tell them this is the reason for the move.

Older children will want to know more and you should be prepared to tell more. They may want to move however if you explain to them that you are moving to be closer to relatives or to a better job they will most likely understand the reason for the move.

Useful Tips

• Tell them about the move as early as possible. They will need to get used to the idea of moving also.
• Discuss the advantages of moving with them e.g. better schools, bigger and better shopping malls, new entertainment facilities and so on.
• Maintain a positive attitude but do not over do it as they will hold you accountable for whatever you say. Your positive attitude will also rub off on your kids so be enthusiastic about the new adventure ahead.
• Be prepared for negative comments and reactions and do not lose your cool when these opinions are voiced.
• Listen and be patient and reassure them you will be there to help them through the transition.
• Let them know they can help with the move and that this is a family event. They may be able to help with some planning or packing.
• Answer any questions as best as you can with examples if possible. It's okay if you cannot answer all the questions right away as long as they see you are completely open to any questions. This will make them feel more comfortable with the move.